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July 06, 2006


Left-Coasters Clear Losers
In Holiday Weekend War

My first full weekend (without being in jail, that is) on a holiday in Detroit left me feeling pretty goddamn good about moving here from L.A., even without Pat.

First off, I’d like to say that the local meteorologists (I call them chicks with clickers) were waaaaaaay wrong on the forecast. Luckily, though, as they say in Ferndale, it was ab-so-fuck-ing-lute-ly ‘fantabulous’!

I have honestly never experienced a nicer weekend on the West Coast. Ever. Well, except for that time in Napa...Hey, Kelli! How’s your Mom?

We had some unbelievable skies here in the Lower Peninsula. 84 degrees, partly sunny ... completely cunnilingual. And there were no wildfires. Just hanging low clouds.

Incidentally, I try to watch UNIVISION for the weather. I’m never absolutely sure what she’s talking about, but that chick is hot as Hell.

Raves for the Tastefest. They close off Grand Boulevard and Second Street in the New Center Area and have a big free music party with local restaurants providing a ‘taste’ of Detroit.

Good food and drinks, great atmosphere and phenomenal music.

One bitch: TICKETS?! The first night I was there I decided I was going to buy just beer and go even on my tickets, which were 10 for a mere six bucks. That means no food, just beer and go home with nothing in my pocket but cash.

Guess what? That means that in order to come out even, it cost me thirty-six-motherfucking-dollars. That was only seven beers, by the way. And I had to go back and forth between 9 ticket Harps and 8 ticket Buds.

Next year they should call it Ticketfest.


A.) He really needs to stop drinking.
B.) No shit. For Christ’s sake New Year’s is in the DEAD OF WINTER!.
C.) Leave him alone, he bet on Brazil.


Those Ecuadorian pan flute dudes are everywhere. I've seen 'em at that fest. At first, the music is ethereal and soothing. By the time you leave, you want to jam those flutes up their asses.
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