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July 07, 2006



The days of wine and roses ...

DETROIT, July 7 ... A suburban Detroit couple have made national news after a marital spat last weekend cost the wife her right arm in a bizarre traffic accident.

Stephen Humphrey is currently being held in the Monroe County Jail on charges relating to the incident including drunk driving (his third offense) causing serious injury and driving with a suspended license.

His wife of three years, Brenda, is in the hospital with injuries that include her severed arm, ruptured bladder, a broken hip and various scrapes and bruises. Her condition is reported as fair.

Humphrey’s original story was that he stopped by the side of the road to let his wife pee after a long afternoon of drinking at a local bar. He says he drove down the road (a gentleman always considers a lady’s privacy) and when he returned found his wife in the ditch missing her arm.

Thinking that she was hit by another car, he then gallantly rushed her to the hospital, thereby saving her life.

Police now say that evidence suggests another scenario.

After a heated argument, Humphrey put his wife out of his pickup truck at the side of the road and drove off as she reached through the open door to get her cell phone. Her arm became entangled in the seat belt, causing her to be dragged down the road until eventually her foot was caught under the rear tires and her arm was literally torn from her body.

The missing arm, along with Brenda Humphey’s shoes, are still being searched for by police. (MARTY SHERMAN)

A.) Bet they were listening to Garth Brooks on the juke box and drinking Bud.
B.) I wonder what kind of sound it makes when an arm gets torn off?
C.) I’m guessing there’s a lot of screaming, but we should ask Kim Jong II. I’m sure he knows.


Do you think Star Jones ate the arm?
Yes I do!
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