Lady Bomb Escorts

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July 19, 2006


20th Century Bomb: 1911


We are starting a petition to force the Coca-Cola Company to use their old recipe of coca leaves and kola nuts for their soda drink. It was a far more refreshing beverage—an uplifting tonic, if you will—when it contained coca leaf in the last decade of the 19th century.

Unfortunately, it’s a mere sarsaparilla without it. Doctors afraid of “cocaine habits” and “cocainism” should tend to their own gardens.

A.) Ah, the 1890’s—those were the days.
B.) Can they make a sody pop with morphine?
C.) Poor Mayor Corridor, ‘twas the cocaine, the morphine, and Minnie Woodward what killed him.

20th Century Bomb: 1913


Publisher Jefferson Gratiot is pleased as punch to announce the grand opening of a ‘gentlemen’s club’ exclusive to members of the Fellowship of the Lady Bomb. The nightly get together shall be hosted by Dorothy “Hot Buns” Rossetti. Prices begin at one dollar.

A.) One dollar? Sir, do I look like Rockefeller?
B.) One dollar? There’s goes this month’s Model T payment.
C.) One dollar? Why, I'd rather f**k a duck.

20th Century Bomb: 1928


I don’t know if you have a radio yet but you have to get one. On this wonderful invention you can hear music and news and sporting events without having to buy a record. Me? All I listen to on the radio is jazz, jazz, jazz. My favorite is the great Negro singer & trumpeter Louie “Satchmo” Armstrong.

A.) Radio, shmadio—what’s wrong with talking with one another?
B.) A little reefer with your jazz is a kick, kiddo.
C.) And I say to myself ‘It’s a wonderful world.’


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