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June 23, 2006

 
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rEPORT fROM bAGHDAD
Writers Goof Off In
War Ravaged Iraq

'They didn't murder and burn us...'


PLINQO, Iraq, June 23 ... In Baghdad on Baghdad Girl business, Musty and I took a walk through Saddam Hussein’s old palace.

What a dump: cruddy furniture and cheap wood paneling with peeling Hustler Honey centerfolds on every wall. I laughed and pointed at a certain pair of bazoombas when suddenly a rock hit me in the back of the head.

I didn’t realize this till I picked myself up off the hard dirt floor. Stunned and rubbing my head while mumbling ‘What the fuck?,’ I looked out the filthy window. A dozen insurgents stood with flaming torches chanting: “We will murder you and burn you! We will murder you and burn you!”

Thank God, I had a flask of Pulsay Kudar (chilled potato vodka, bathwater, and grenadine) in my pocket. I tore off a piece of my shirt, and Musty stuck the woven cotton into the flask. I lit it and threw it into the middle of the brouhaha.

Holy shit, there were arms and legs flying all over the place. Problem fucking solved, ha, ha, ha.


Later that day, the Iraqi police arrested Musty for 'vending without a license.' It seems the musty one had been hawking his new icy sensation, the Pulsay Kudar Shlurpa, in the middle of Saddamarama Square without first greasing the police chief with a blowjob from a dancer from Baghdad Girl, our strip club in Iraq.

And a bathtub full of PK Shlurpa, of course. ... (LYZAKO)


A.) Potato vodka, bathwater, and grenadine beats the heat … PK Shlurpa!
B.) Tonight at Baghdad Girl — Pulsay Kudar jello shots only 16 dinar!
C.) Visit Pulsaykudar.com for more exotic drink recipes!




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