Lady Bomb Escorts

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June 27, 2006

 
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IT'S MY PARTY ...
judy and johnny just walked through the door


THE STRANGE WORLD OF BRANGELINA
Someone has stolen Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie 's baby shower photos. Their attorneys have promised to come down hard as a motherfucker on anyone that publishes any of the photos. As a service to our readers at Lady Bomb Escorts, here’s an exclusive picture of the simply beautiful baby. It will only be up for 24 hours ... download it while you can.

A.) My God, what a beautiful child.
B.) It shall live a wonderful, privileged life.
C.) Looks like that Billy Bob dude.





FATHER AND SON REUNION
On Fathers’ Day, I took my Dad, Ed, to his favorite hamburger joint.

Since the crematorium handed me a gift bag with his remains in a box wrapped in gold foil, he sat on the stool next to me. “Oh, how nice—you have a gift for your Dad,” the waitress said.

“That is my Dad—he passed away on May 20th,” I said.

She made a quick Sign of the Cross over Ed. I ate a burger then took my Pop home.

A.) I took my Dad to a Tigers game.
B.) I treated my Father to dinner at a nice Italian restaurant.
C.) I don’t talk to my old man; I hate that prick.



THE TRUTH, MAN – LIKE IT OR NOT
Oasis guitarist Noel Gallagher says yes, he ripped off the chords of Burt Bacharach’s This Guy’s in Love With You for his own tune Half the World Away - but so fucking what?

Gallagher says, "It sounds exactly the same. I'm surprised Burt hasn't sued me yet." Then he picked up his sledgehammer.

A.) Gallagher is a comedy genius.
B.) Gallaher is the New McCartney.
C.) Look out for flying watermelon, fucker - look out!



BALL OF CONFUSION 2006
Guns N' Roses canary Axl Rose was busted by cops in Stockholm yesterday after allegedly biting a security guard’s leg in his hotel lobby. It’s a puzzle as to why the rock dude bit another dude but a cop did say that Rose was so loaded he had to be cuffed and restrained.

A.) No one rocks harder than Axl.
B.) Axl IS rock.
C.) My dad's dead, too.



WALKING THE DOG
Taxi is a good boy; my wife, Christine, and I really love that rascal. We were out for a walk.

“Save some for the other trees, dude,” I said to the doggie as he peed like crazy on the first tree we passed. I sipped coffee as we strolled past tree after tree with the cute Border Terrier lifting a leg and whizzing on seven of them till he finally ran out of urine.

Then he took a healthy crap. I picked it up with a baggie, tossed it into a trashcan and we went home.

I’ll be damned ... then I had to squirt and dump. ... (LYZAKO)


A.) Thanks for sharing, man.
B.) Coffee does that to me too, man.
C.) Taxi is the cutest dog in the county.




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