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June 13, 2006

 
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CDs Are The New Dinosaurs!
PhonoLogic Recordmaker®
is Finally Here ...

PHILADELPHIA, Pa., June 13 ... Here’s proof that vinyl records are back: The amazing PhonoLogic Recordmaker®.

Pour 150 grams of PhonoLogic TrueVinyl® into the top of the machine, upload your music and press the ‘start’ button. Thirty minutes later, a digital trumpet alerts you to push the ‘Deliver’ pad.

A door slides out and there it is ... a shiny new vinyl LP (or two singles).

The gadget’s creators, Bill Tennar and Ray Smith - two ex-fry cooks from Philadelphia - have already grossed well over $4 million since the gizmo’s introduction last January. Tennar, a 53-year-old ex-Marine, explained how it all came about.

“In my humble opinion, CDs sound like s**t. I hate them and I’m against them,” he said. “I met Ray at Monica’s Grille; we both cook there. He had just been fired from Microsoft because of his drinking problem. I discovered he also loved phonograph records. It pi**ed us off that you couldn't buy them anymore, so we did something about it.”

Once one of Pennsylvania's top engineers, Tennar, ironically, had also been terminated from his job because of alcohol. Both men ended up cooking and frying at Monica's. Seven days a week after every 14 hour shift, they would meet at Ray's to drink, listen to vinyl, and pitch ideas.

In a stupor one night, they smacked one out of the park: A machine that presses phonograph records at home!

Using technology secrets he “borrowed” from Microsoft, Smith designed a software program based on cutting edge HTML code that would power the first version of what would become the PhonoLogic Recordmaker®.

"I don't remember what happened with the first one. We were drinking like maniacs," Tennar said.

The soused new wave Edisons went through three more grueling months of trial and error before they finally perfected the device they had hoped and dreamed for.

“After all is said and done, it was a lot fuck**g easier than I thought it would be,” Smith said. “The computer stuff was a piece of cake - the hard part was converting the guts of a pizza oven into a functioning vinyl phonograph record maker. But Bill took care of that. Bill and his Mexican friend, Jose Cuervo. It's nothing but Easy Street for us from this day on."

And thanks to Bill Tennar and Ray Smith, collecting records will now be easier again.

The PhonoLogic Recordmaker® is $1,399 and available at Restoration Hardware, Best Buy, and Digital Junkie (Philadelphia) or online at phonologicrecordmaker.com. ... (LYZAKO)


A.) This is wonderful news — I don’t have enough music to listen to.
B.) Sure hope PhonoLogic creates a Cassettemaker®.
C.) Fuck Bush and fuck the War! What? Oh, sorry — yes, the PhonoLogic Recordmaker® is great.






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