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June 09, 2006


Baloney Or Bologna?
Spelling Of Popular Lunch Meat To Change

OAK PARK, Mich., June 9 ... American bologna, a bland sandwich meat popular with children, takes its name from the Italian city of Bologna, where the sausage originated.

However, the U.S. version bears little resemblance to the original recipe for mortadella bologna, which is a unique spicy sausage made in the central Italian region surrounding the city from which it takes its name.

The American version of bologna is, more often than not, mass produced using scraps of meat that could be beef, chicken, turkey or pork.

In addition to trimmings from better cuts, allowable content may also include snouts, tails, eyelids, lips, ears, eyeballs, hearts, kidneys, lungs, livers, skin and genitalia. The scraps are ground into a fine puree and then poured into casings that are often made of plastic.

Mortadella bologna is traditionally made with choice cuts of meat and bound in natural casings made of sheep, hog or beef intestines.

In each case the meat is smoked and preserved so the product is ready to eat without cooking.
In an effort to separate the American version from its elder Italian cousin, the United States Meat Packing Association (aka US MEAT PACK ASS) is calling for a change in the spelling of the name to ‘baloney’ in order to reflect the American pronunciation of the product.

"It confuses kids," said one industry spokesperson. "This will make the spelling more logical in terms of how the word is pronounced. Plus, ‘baloney’ also means ‘nonsense’ or ‘bullshit’, which is much truer by definition to the American version of the product."

Because of the change, processed food giant Oscar Mayer announced that it has tweaked its famous jingle to end "...Oscar Mayer makes kids cry for B-A-L-O-N-E-Y."

The US MEAT PACK ASS is reportedly also considering similar changes for salami (salomey), keilbasa (kilbasey) and the popular pizza topping pepperoni (pepperoney).

Ham will continue to be spelled ‘ ham’. ... (MARTY SHERMAN)

A.) My mom used to make fried baloney and cheese sandwiches.
B.) My mom chopped up the baloney and fried it with sliced onion. Yum.
C.) My mom made her own baloney out of rat meat. What? We were poor.


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