##Not Exactly News But Scarier By The MinuteBird Flu May Kill Millions
U.S. Plan: Stay Home, Say A Prayer And Kiss Your Ass Goodbye
The White House has just released it’s plan to battle the potential H5N1 avian influenza pandemic, which experts predict could infect as much as a third of the population and possibly kill millions.
While the report admits that the United States still doesn’t have an adequate vaccine supply, it neglects to mention exactly how the existing supply will be administered, and to whom.
One Democratic Senator was quoted as saying: "A flu plan that doesn't say how to distribute vaccine is about as useful as tits on a boar hog!"
Senator Ted Kennedy
agreed, but likened the comparison more to "a hurricane plan that doesn't say how to rescue people from a flood."
Fortunately the Bush Administration does have some advice should the virus mutate from it’s present state as a bug that is spread between birds into one that is spread from person to person, which most experts agree is just a matter of time.
They do warn, however, that recommended efforts to hinder the spread of the disease, which include limiting travel, washing hands often, covering your mouth when sneezing or coughing, and last, but not least, staying at least three feet away from other people during the outbreak, will probably only slow the advance of the virus and not stop it....(MARTY SHERMAN)
So in other words, we’re screwed, eh?B.)
It’s the Goddamn end of the Goddamn world as we Goddamn know it. Goddamn it.C.)
Shit. Will that mean no more lap dances?#