Marty Sherman has rolled with the show biz punches for damn near fifty years now.Lady Bomb Escorts is proud to publish the following material from Marty's stand-up comedy act in the mid-60s when the artist shocked audiences with his Blue Period.Not for the faint-hearted...18 and over only, please.Ladies and gentlemen - the comedy genius of Marty Sherman...
Say, do you know the difference between a pussy and an open, pus-filled gangrenous wound?
No? Remind me to never let you borrow my toothbrush.
Guy goes into a restaurant and orders a sandwich. "What kind of sandwich do you want?" asks the waitress.
"What I want isn’t on the menu, sweetheart. I want a slice of rye bread on the bottom, toasted. Then some peanut butter - chunky, two slices of Swiss cheese, lettuce, pickles, ham, onion, salami, grape jelly, a slice of white bread, two more slices of Swiss cheese, chopped chicken liver, sliced radishes, more ham, bacon, tomato and a toasted slice of wheat on top. Mustard, horseradish and mayo on the side. Got it?"
The waitress rolls her eyes, cracks her gum and reads back the ingredients. "That’s some kind of sandwich, mister. What do you call it?"
"I call it a SHUTTHEFUCKUPANDBRINGITTOMEBITCH!!"
My girlfriend’s mad at me again. I don’t think I did anything wrong, but let me tell you what happened and you be the judge.
Last night she wanted Mexican for dinner and I told her no. I had Taco Bell for lunch and it was already starting to tear me up. So we decide on Chinese and try this new place, right? It’s not very good, but is that my fault?
After dinner we go back to my place, drink some wine and let nature take it’s course, know what I mean? I’m naked, pulling on my cock with one hand and holding my balls up with the other so she can lick behind them...and I let a fart slip out.
Well, you would have thought I slapped her the way she acted. She got up, got dressed and stormed out. I just don’t get it.
I mean, I already told her I ate Taco Bell for lunch.