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May 31, 2006

 
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A LADY BOMB ESCORTS SPECIAL REPORT!


'Sick' fucked-up photo at fault...
MARTY SHERMAN:
MOST HATED MAN IN BLOGOSPHERE?

Poor Marty Sherman. He sits in a cell with other evildoers.

The air smells of piss and blood and vomit from the thousands that have occupied the space before him.

Lyzako and the Lady Bomb staff try to unravel this strange tale in this unforgettable, in-depth, exclusive report.











Tokugawa Marinski Make Report:
MISTER HOLLYWOOD
IN BIG TROUBLE

Marty Sherman in Oakland County jail for showing picture on left. Police say it mean to squirrel after Sherman write story about many squirrel commiting suicide. Then PETA (you know who they are) make complaint and Mr. Sherman, a Hollywood legend / writer, have trouble begin.

Why they do that?








Musty Scribblins Reporting:
'BOMB' WRITER IN JAIL
- IT STINKS IN THERE

On the right is the original photo chosen to accompany Marty Sherman's in-depth report on the squirrel suicide dilemma facing our nation.

At the last minute, someone replaced the poignant phot0 with what police and PETA are calling an unusually serious affront to small animals ... in other words, cruelty.

Authorities are trying to determine who would do such a thing.

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LADY BOMB BREAKING NEWS...


Marty Sherman’s
JAIL CELL DIARY:

"Heeelp! Let me outta heeere!"

"Hey, get the fuck away from me man."

Holding cell in Oakland County is no fun. Am writing this on t.p. with burnt matches. Have to write. Record for blog. Note: Hitler wrote in jail.

"Listen, man, I said get the fuck away from me. Don’t you understand English?"

Peta can kiss ass. Didn’t kill squirrel, just used pic.

"Hey, when can I talk to my lawyer? Hey! Anybody! I need to talk to my lawyer!"

Fuckers. Must post bail. Must get out before Mem. Day wkend. Techno fest at Hart Plaza. Girls in trance from x and music. Dance. Drink. Smoke grass. X-Men movie opens.

"If you touch me one more time, man, I’m gonna kill you! I’m in for armed robbery you know! I wouldn’t think twice about fucking you up! I’m warning you! Hey, I NEED TO TALK TO MY LAWYER!!! IS ANYBODY OUT THERE?!! HEY!!!!"

2 more matches. Need more dry t.p. Drunks in here too. 1 guy shit pants & smells awful. Puke smell, too.

"HEY! WHEN CAN I SEE MY GODDAMN LAWYER?!!!"

"Hold it down in there, asshole. You’ll see your lawyer when I say so, got it? Now keep it down. Some of these people are trying to sleep."

Hate jail. Always have.

A.) I feel for the guy, I really do.
B.) Yeah, after all he didn’t kill the squirrel and the caption was funny.
C.) I have a pair of squirrel slippers with fuzzy tails on the back. They’re cute.







LBE





CoMMents:
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