##Keith Richards in Hospital...Bo Bice Joins Rolling Stones!
As Rolling Stones
guitarist Keith Richards
recovers in a New Zealand hospital, reports differ over how The Coolest Man in the World
Some say he fell out of a palm tree while vacationing in Fiji last week and suffered a mild concussion.
A local paper, The Fiji Phoenix
, claims the 62-year-old rock god bumped his head on a large poppy plant while touring the island’s largest secret heroin factory, (name deleted) located in the wilds of (name deleted).
Either way - the axe-wielding Stone will be out of commission for the next three months and be replaced in the band by American Idol Bo Bice
Head Stone Mick Jagger
made the announcement at a hastily-arranged press conference this morning.
“It’s a bit of awright,” Sir Mick quipped to a lubed-to-the-gills-on-free-alcohol media throng that guffawed at Sir Mick’s every word.
“Bo gives us a fresh feel, don’t you think? Awright,” Jagger went on as the assembled reporters guffawed, nodded and scribbled furiously.
"And don't forget to mention me show on ABC this autumn."
Until Richards is back up and running, Bice will play the next 27 concerts on guitar alongside Ron Wood
and croon the wounded Stone’s classics, Happy
and Before They Make Me Run
“This is fuckin’ awesome, dude,” Bice said. “I played most of these tunes in my Stones tribute bar band, The Eye Candgedno Satisfactions -
so no fuckin’ problem, dude.”
Richards remains in a New Zealand hospital where he insists he is Harry Belafonte
Doctors say this is only temporary.
A.) Wow, hope Keith Richards is alright.
B.) Goes to show you - Rock today, calypso tomorrow.
C) Daylight come and he wanna go home.##