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May 01, 2006


Keith Richards in Hospital...
Bo Bice Joins Rolling Stones!

As Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards recovers in a New Zealand hospital, reports differ over how The Coolest Man in the World got hurt.

Some say he fell out of a palm tree while vacationing in Fiji last week and suffered a mild concussion.

A local paper, The Fiji Phoenix, claims the 62-year-old rock god bumped his head on a large poppy plant while touring the island’s largest secret heroin factory, (name deleted) located in the wilds of (name deleted).

Either way - the axe-wielding Stone will be out of commission for the next three months and be replaced in the band by American Idol Bo Bice.

Head Stone Mick Jagger made the announcement at a hastily-arranged press conference this morning.

“It’s a bit of awright,” Sir Mick quipped to a lubed-to-the-gills-on-free-alcohol media throng that guffawed at Sir Mick’s every word.

“Bo gives us a fresh feel, don’t you think? Awright,” Jagger went on as the assembled reporters guffawed, nodded and scribbled furiously.

"And don't forget to mention me show on ABC this autumn."

Until Richards is back up and running, Bice will play the next 27 concerts on guitar alongside Ron Wood and croon the wounded Stone’s classics, Happy and Before They Make Me Run.

“This is fuckin’ awesome, dude,” Bice said. “I played most of these tunes in my Stones tribute bar band, The Eye Candgedno Satisfactions - so no fuckin’ problem, dude.”

Richards remains in a New Zealand hospital where he insists he is Harry Belafonte.

Doctors say this is only temporary.


A.) Wow, hope Keith Richards is alright.
B.) Goes to show you - Rock today, calypso tomorrow.
C) Daylight come and he wanna go home.


Here's the latest from the official Rolling Stones web site:

05.01.06 Keith Richards Making A Speedy Recovery

Keith Richards was hospitalized for a mild concussion he suffered while vacationing in Fiji. Keith was injured earlier this week and flown to a hospital in Auckland, New Zealand for treatment. "Following treatment locally and as a precautionary measure, he flew to a hospital accompanied by his wife, Patti, for observation," said Stones' publicist Fran Curtis. Doctors say Keith is making a speedy recovery.
Let's hope Keith can handle the heroin and morphine that he will most likely have to take to kill the pain?

Headache pain?

No, man...the pain of life.

Uh oh, the Orangico Cuervo is kicking in...

Junior, want to go halfsies on the coconut that busted Keith's conk?
Cool site but not what i was looking for on So I say ado.. and off I go.
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