IT'S WHY WE HAVE LAWS AND RELIGION LADY BOMB ESCORTS 'SICK' WRITER ARRESTED PICTURE OF DYING SQUIRREL TOO MEAN-SPIRITED?
It was bound to happen sooner than later. Show biz legend, friend to Pat Sajak, and now hitting the skids as a snarky pop cult beat writer for "fictional" online whorehouse Lady Bomb Escorts, Marty Sherman was handcuffed by cops and taken away after a midnight raid yesterday at the Bomb "offices" for posting a picture of a dying squirrel.
The offensive photo, part of a Sherman feature ("Suicides Claim Portion Of Squirrel Population" - four posts below), shows a poor cute little squirrel freezing to death...shaking...praying to his little squirrel god...and in one last tortured gasp, stuttering, "I'm cold...so...so...c-c-o-l-d."
Lyzako, Executive Publisher of Lady Bomb Ink, INC, while angry with Sherman came to the writer's defense.
"What the fuck? They're squirrels! I mean, I love animals as much as the next guy but what should we fucking do? Call Marty a witch and burn him at the stake in a pay-per-view show?"
Lyzako rubbed his chin, and stared off into space. Like a light bulb had been switched on.
PETA (People for Ethical Treatment to Animals) doesn't agree with Lyzako. Its spokesperson, Marcia Stent-Baylor is apalled: "Men like that Marty Sherman are disgusting," she said. "They sit in one-room apartments on wooden chairs in urine-stained boxer shorts watching pornography all the time and have absolutely no idea of the plight of the squirrel. These are extremely depressed animals"
Sherman has been charged with Animal Photo Cruelty and sits in an Oakland County jail where a judge has set his bail at a quarter-of-a-million dollars. ... (MUSTY SCRIBBLINS)
A.) Guy shouldn't make fun of squirrels. B.) You're right - that's good eatin'. C.) Oh yeah...deep-fried and smothered in hot sauce.
My lawyer has advised me not to say anything that relates to the completely false charges that have been brought against me. I'll just say this: The charges are completely false and I expect them to be dropped. Completely.
Besides, I thought the editor was the one who was supposed to get arrested when something like this happens. I mean he's the one that decided it was okay to run the pic. In fact, when he assigned the story, he told me to make it as cruel as possible because he actually has a squirrel problem. I guess they gnawed their way through a screen and got into his attic.