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May 11, 2006

 
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FROM HERE TO ETERNITY…
Heaven or Hell? You Decide


GETTING SERIOUS ON SIRIUS

Good news for people that want to go to Heaven: Sirius Satellite Radio Inc. will work with the Archdiocese of New York to create a new channel of programs aimed at Catholics.

Spreading the same kind of joy as the new Playboy Magazine for Catholics (same centerfold every month), the We’re Going To Heaven Channel (WGTH) will broadcast daily Mass from NYC’s St. Patrick's Cathedral and follow it up with talk shows and music.

Some of the new programming includes Leave It To Jesus, Desperate Altar Boys, and Sign Felled, a 15th century comedy about four god-fearing folks in Resurrection, Kansas determined to rebuild a ‘Welcome to Resurrection’ sign destroyed in a horrible hurricane.

A group of defrocked priests currently make up the channel's writing staff. Head writer Father Tony Montanasi says there will be good vibrations for all humans – not just Catholics.

“It shall be marvelous for the heart and spirit. We are using radio shows of the 1940s and 1950s as our template. The lead characters of Leave It To Jesus,” the priest laughs, “are Father Jack Shmenny and Father Bob Shmope, two wisecracking priests at one of the holiest parishes in town, St. Rita of Hayworth.” Father Tony bursts into warm gales of laughter.

The programs will be sponsored by Colgate Denture Paste.

The channel was originally pitched as Sirius About God (SAG) but the 84-year-old Screen Actors Guild raised holy Hell and that was that.


A.) It’s nice to see a nice story once in awhile.
B.) Gosh, an all-Catholic channel – that’s wonderful.
C.) Fuck yeah, it is.




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