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May 10, 2006


Britney Spears New Devil Child on Way

Though we wouldn’t know a Britney from an Ashlee or a Beyoncy or Maddonny, last night Britney Spears made a surprise appearance on the David Letterman show to announce that she’s pregnant.
You know, like it's a bulletin or something.

"Don't worry Dave, it's not yours," the singer told Dave.

“No shit, Sherlock,” Dave said.

“Hey Paul, I wouldn’t screw Britney with your penis,” he added in an aside to bandleader Paul Shaffer.

The crowd applauded wildly like they had never applauded before. You’d have thought Milton Berle had come back to life and sauntered onstage.
Nope, it was Britney’s rappa husband/baby daddy, Kevin Federline.
He sprinted over to his wife and Letterman while thumbing his chest rapping, “I’m da man…I’m da man…I’m da man,” over and over and over again.

Like a retarded skipping record.

The trio did some shtick, Federline bragged about his shitty upcoming new album and his penis length, then left with Britney shortly afterwards to an audience response twice as tumultuous as the previous display.

You’d have thought two Milton Berles had come back to life and sauntered arm-in-arm onstage.
Too bad for me, I didn’t TiVo it – oh, I forgot...i don't have a TiVo machine, ha.
Where's Paul Shaffer when you need him?

The Lady Bomb staff hopes their new baby is a healthy one. We just called it a devil child for the sake of the headline.

A.) Federline is a total douchbag...the whole package.
B.) Federline is the Vanilla Ice of his generation.
C.) Hey, I know Ice and Federline is no Vanilla Ice, motherfucker.
B.) Calm down, bitch.
A.) Hey, chill out...fighting over Vanilla Ice and Kevin Federline? What?!
C.) Vanilla Ice saved my life once.
B.) What? Come on.
C.) As a teenager I almost killed myself but Ice music saved me.
A.) You're on crack.
B.) And you're gay.
C.) No, really. Vanilla Ice saved my life.

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