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May 02, 2006


Bo Bice Quits Rolling Stones!
Calls Jagger 'Asshole', Storms Out!

Twenty-four hours after a press gathering where Mick Jagger announced that Bo Bice would replace an injured Keith Richards until the guitarist mends from a recent fall, Bice hastily arranged his own press conference this morning and in a loud voice said he would leave the Rolling Stones effective immediately.

No hard feelings, though.

“Fuck Mick Jagger; he’s an asshole,” Bice told assembled media. “I tried to teach Ronnie and Charlie one of my songs – Chick, I’m the Dude for You from my new album Bice-A-Roni – when Mick walked in and went ballistic on me.”

“I tried to explain to 'im that the Stones’ repertoire was all set,” Jagger said, “but he became an arse about it. Oh, well.”

Not to worry, both men will move on.

“That Fucker,” said Bice. “I thought he’d be awesome, but he was a bogue fucker. He knows I’m an American Idol – I gave him a DVD. I’ll show him...fuck.”

Jagger didn't respond; he was on the phone with Sting about making a guest apperance on his new ABC series, Let's Rob Sir Mick which debuts this fall.

Richards is at home recuperating – he thinks he’s Harry Belafonte.

Doctors say this is temporary…maybe.

And I'm sitting here with the tombstone blues... ..(LYZAKO)

A.) Whoa, it’s turning into a goddamn saga.
B.) It’s reminiscent of the Dean and Jerry breakup.
A.) The ice cream guys broke up?
B.) No, stupid – Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis.
A.) Oh. By the way, where’s C?
B.) Sick day.
A.) Hangover?
B.) Serif reconstruction – no big deal.
A.) He has been looking thin on top lately.
B.) He’ll be fine.
A.) Of course.
B.) Hey, let’s not get too high concept without C here, okay?
A.) Good thought. We must keep it nice and dumb.
B.) Damn.
A.) What?
B.) I just crapped in my pants.
A.) Ha, that’s more like it, ha.


he won't quit the roling stones he would hav to be crazy.
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