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April 11, 2006

"I Told You So" Smirks President Bush - Saddam
Hussein May Face More Charges.

In a dramatic recent turn of events, the White House has obtained evidence to prove that President George W. Bush’s assertions that Iraq was harboring weapons of mass destruction were not false ones.

During a one week break from his trial in Baghdad for crimes against humanity, former Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein was whisked away to a German hospital where a team of American surgeons removed a tiny device from his abdomen.

It was a bomb.

Throughout the hour-long operation surgeons wore pads and face shields while they successfully excised the device from behind the dictator’s gall bladder. Experts on the scene determined that the mechanism’s detonator was faulty and probably had been for some time.

Further examination of the weapon, which had been fabricated to look like organic tissue, pointed towards the North Koreans as the manufacturing source.

The existence of the device was confirmed when doctors were re-reading Saddam’s old CAT Scans and theorized that the tiny shadow, which had mistakenly been read as a benign mass or cyst, was actually something more.

Despite being small in size, the potential destructive power of the explosive was "formidable", according to one of the weapons experts working on the case. "It could easily take out a city block."

At a press conference yesterday the President was asked if this meant more charges would be leveled against Hussein or if it just meant that the White House was happy to be vindicated after looking foolish for so long.

"If it was against the law to make me look like a fool, why, I’d be in jail myself by now," replied the President.

Currently on trial for mass murder and genocide, Hussein recently had new charges brought against him by the Iraqi government that include one count of animal endangerment, thirty-two counts of public drunkenness and a series of unpaid parking violations that date back to the early 1980's.

Meanwhile, U.S. officials are scrambling to check other Iraqis currently in custody for similar weapons.

A.) So Saddam and George both like to hit the sauce, eh?
B.) That George W. cracks me up.
C.) My left arm's still numb. And my chest still hurts.


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