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April 17, 2006


Tax Returns for Pres and Vice-Pres Made Public

The White House released copies of President Bush’s and Vice-President Cheney’s 2005 Federal Tax returns on Friday.

The President’s adjusted gross income was a little over $735,000, on which he paid over $187,000 in Federal taxes, while the Cheneys reported income of nearly $9,000,000.

The IRS owes the Cheneys a refund of nearly $2,000,000.

When the President inquired as to what caused the startling disparity, he was informed that the Vice-President’s income included deferred payments from Halliburton, the Texas-based energy company formerly run by Cheney that has received billions of dollars worth of government contracts to help rebuild Iraq, stock options, and royalties from a book authored by Mrs. Cheney.

"A what?" asked the President, who then said "Oh yeah, I need to write me one of them."

On orders to his accountant, the Vice-President’s refund will be direct-deposited in an off-shore PayPal account.

Mr. Cheney, who owns one of the world’s largest collections of rare books on witchcraft and the black arts, often uses Ebay to shop for new items.


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