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April 18, 2006


The Straight Poop from Washington...
Secretary of Defense Answers Critics

At a White House press conference late last week, Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld answered charges by six U.S. Military Generals that he has mis-managed the war effort in Iraq.

Five of the six Generals, including former Head of Central Command Major General Anthony Zinni, have recently retired from military duty.

All of them believe that Rumsfeld should step down.

"Waging war is an art, not a science," said Rumsfeld when questioned.

"Hey, if you want to make an omelette you have to break a few eggs."

President Bush, who continues to support his Secretary of Defense, attended the press conference and was noticeably puzzled when Rumsfeld made the statement until a White House aide passed him a hand-written note that said:


The President then smiled and nodded knowingly in agreement.

Additionally, Rumsfeld is rumored to have requested that the title of Secretary of Defense be changed back to Secretary of War. The United States hasn’t had a Secretary of War since 1947, when the White House reorganized the Military into the Department of Defense.

Sources inside the White House say that the President is considering Rumsfeld’s request because "war" is easier to pronounce" than "defense."

- Marty Sherman


"Omelettes? Are those the funny haircuts poor people wear? Short in front, but long and greasy in back?" asks George W.

"George, I told you not to think about poor people!" yells Barbara.
Right on, Junior!
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