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April 05, 2006

Shiny Human Canister on the Way!

John Travolta and his ball & chain, Kelly Preston, want you to know that they are one million percent behind the Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes decision to have a silent birth.

No stupid delivery room yelling, no ouches, no acting silly…just quiet—nice and quiet like good Scientologist mothers are supposed to be.

They will hear silence…even if they have to tear her tongue out.

Travolta, Preston, Cruise, Holmes, and Isaac Hayes—the ex-Chef on South Park--are Scientologists.

A.) Ssssshh, the child is coming.
B.) Have a cigar, it’s an alien.
C.) Where’s Mr Mxyzptlk when you need him?


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