##Satan Calls For Boycott Of Easter
Devil Denounces Resurrection As ‘Hoax’
At an impromptu midnight gathering just outside the Vatican yesterday, the Devil
, dressed in a blue Armani
two-button suit and standing on top of a tour bus, urged Catholics and Christians around the world to refuse to participate in this year’s Easter celebration.
"Deep down in your hearts you know that this Resurrection stuff is just bullshit," he stated.Satan
further called for the holiday to be restored to it’s original intent, which was simply a pagan festival to mark the coming of Spring.
Although he doesn’t celebrate the holiday himself, Satan, who is a card-carrying Teamster, divulged that he "enjoys getting Good Friday and Easter Monday off with pay," and that he plans a wild weekend of drinking and partying somewhere in the Caribbean.
The Vatican could not be reached for comment.
A.) How about that Satan, eh?
B.) I’ll pray for him while I’m praying for world peace.
C.) I get a long weekend, too. I’ll be scrap-booking.##