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April 20, 2006



Hollywood Comes To Aid of Migrating Amphibians

Spring is in the air...the smell of lilac, the warm sun on bare skin and the sound of chirping birds...wait, no that’s the sound of frogs....frogs being flattened as they cross country roads all over the Midwest and Northeast.

Thank God there’s the Amphibian Preservation Alliance, a non-profit organization founded in 2003 that coordinates volunteers to help guide the frogs, along with their salamander cousins, to safety.

Unfortunately, according to local officials in at least one town in Pennsylvania, the do-gooders, who often stop traffic to make way for the jumping critters, are actually making driving through migration areas more dangerous.

A group of actors and actresses including George Clooney, Whoopi Goldberg, Rosie O’Donnell and Clint Eastwood have decided to help.

With local coordination by APA, the stars hope to build a series of "frog crosswalks" on roads where migration is known to be heaviest.

In addition, CAUTION: FROG CROSSING signs that have flashing yellow lights attached will be installed in the areas to warn motorists.

The stars are reportedly also considering HOP and DO NOT HOP signs on either side of the new crosswalks. (Marty Sherman)

A.) Man, you haven’t written anything funny since that Beyonce butter thing.
B.) Yeah, dude. You gotta give us something to work with. Frogs? Jeezus.
C.) The other guy’s stories are way funnier.


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