Lady Bomb Escorts

you know you want it…

April 21, 2006


New Product Testing Department...
Where We Put New Products To The Test!

Peanut butter and jelly on white bread is one of my favorite sandwiches.

It takes me back to when I was a kid. Those were the riding was the only thing on my agenda in July besides farting in my hand and smelling it.

Ahhhh, it was great being young....

So when our testing lab received this new combination PB&J spreader, I couldn’t wait to try it out.

Hmm. An "all-in-one tool" it says, "scoop and spread peanut butter and jelly, mustard and mayonnaise, and other delectable duos."

Well, since I couldn’t think of any other "delectable duo," I decided to try it with PB&J.

I guess the peanut butter end is brown and the jelly end is purple, so I’ll just dip it in here...yeah that works pretty okay. And turn it around...shit...I got peanut butter all over my hand.

Oops, the jelly fell off onto the floor.

The damn thing’s pretty slick...Let me just scoop up some more jelly...there.

I think I got, can I cut the crusts off with this bad boy? Hmmm, nope. And I got jelly on my sleeve. It just kinda tears the bread.

I give up.

All in all, I’d rather use a spoon and a knife. It says it’s "dishwasher safe" but I’ll never find out because this worthless piece of crap is going right into the trash. (Marty Sherman)

A.) They would laughed this thing off American Inventor.
B.) Only in America.
C.) I’ll bet it’s made in China.


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