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April 19, 2006


How Many Fingers Can J-Lo Take?
Only Noa Knows

Former hubby Ojani Noa is being sued by Jennifer Lopez to prevent him from publishing a revealing book about the couple’s relationship.

The two were married for barely a year way back in 1997 before J-Lo switched to P. Diddy, then Cris Judd, then Ben Affleck, then current squeeze Marc Anthony, whom she married in 2004.

Reportedly Noa is demanding five million dollars to end his search for a publisher.

Jen’s lawyers claim the book violates an earlier agreement between the two that includes both "non-disclosure" and "non-disparagement" clauses.

Noa, a former Miami waiter and less-than-successful model, had also been in charge of Lopez’s Southern California restaurant Madres, until she fired him in 2002 after only six months of employment.

Two letters were sent by Noa to Lopez’s attorneys, one in January of 2005 and one from earlier this year.

Written in Noa’s second language, Pidgin English, the handwritten correspondences are believed to state his intentions to sell the manuscript, which has a working title of "I Due Jennie En But".

Lopez’s team of lawyers are currently working on complete translations of the letters to see if additional charges can be brought in the suit. (Marty Sherman)

A.) Is it bad press to be able to take a whole hand?
B.) No such thing as bad press, honey. Long as they’re talking about you.
C.) As a gentleman, I never fist and tell.


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