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April 24, 2006


Gigolo Bigamist Out On Parole
Con Artist Gets Early Release For Good Behavior, Bad Taste In Women

After serving a mere 10 months of his original three-year sentence for fraud, 54-year-old William Michael Barber was released from a New Jersey prison in late March.

Barber, whose flaccid penis measures four inches, was convicted in 2005, after his wife Joyce Reynolds discovered that he had been fraudulently using credit cards in her name.

Further investigation showed that Reynolds was just one of at least six women that Barber, whose erect penis measures 6.75 inches, had married under false pretenses.

The con artist and self-described "chubby chaser" used a series of fake I.D.’s to trick his victims, and once married, proceeded to ruin them financially.

Fatwoman, one of NYC’s most famous super heroes, who’s powers include being able to digest any kind of matter from stone to steel, was Barber’s third wife.

"I’m a little concerned that he’s been released so soon," she said from her secret lair in the sub-basement of the Carnegie Deli. "If I have to, I’ll take things into my own hands to prevent him from doing this to someone else."

"I can make him disappear without a trace," the obese crime-fighter added. "And I should have done it a long time ago. He’d go well with a nice, full-bodied cabernet."

Baker, who is currently residing in a Men’s Shelter in New Jersey, was surprised to find out that his third wife was indeed the famous super hero. "I should have suspected something," he said. "She could really pack it away." (MARTY SHERMAN)

If you can’t be with the one you love, love the one you’re with.
B.) Yeah, then lie, cheat and steal from her.
C.) Bring back the hot chicks! That pic made me queasy.


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