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April 05, 2006

 
Ellen Dumps Portia, Moves On
Long-Time Live-In Lesbian Lover Told To Hit The Road

Daytime talk show host and comedienne Ellen DeGeneres has reportedly split with her girlfriend of the past two years, smoking hot actress Portia deRossi.

It has been just over a year since Ellen was given a wedding ring by deRossi, and although the couple was not legally married, the ring was intended to be a sign of their commitment to each other.

But sources say Ellen has been a tough sell for some time, despite other lavish gifts from her partner.

Ellen has been unable to "maintain enthusiasm" for the relationship, according to an insider.

"The Porsche that Portia bought her for Christmas has barely been driven."

As a last-ditch effort to win back Ellen’s love, deRossi underwent painful laser removal of a tattoo that depicted the initials of her previous girlfriend Francesca Gregorini, the step-daughter of former Beatle Ringo Starr.

Sorry, Portia. No dice.

It’s rumored that for the past seven months Ellen has been secretly seeing the entire cast of Girlfriends after meeting Persia White, who plays Lynn on the show, at an alternate lifestyles club in Los Angeles late last summer. White, a well-known switch-hitter, eventually persuaded the rest of the cast to join in the fun.

The UPN sitcom, which airs on Monday nights, also stars Tracee Ellis Ross as Joan, Golden Brooks as Maya, and Jill Marie Jones as Toni.

"I’m almost fifty, for christ’s sake," said Ellen. "I need to get my jungle freak on while I can still enjoy it."

Reportedly, Ellen, who has been a fan of Girlfriends since its first season, insists on calling each new lover by the name of her character on the show in order to "avoid confusion".


A.) Whoa! Ellen sure gets some hot-ass chicks!
B.) Yeah, way hotter than I can get.
C.) I heard her secret is that she licks the ABC’s when she goes down.




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