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April 12, 2006


Detroit Mayor Announces Plan To Rename The Motor City
City Officials Hope To Attract New Residents With Upscale Moniker

At a press conference Tuesday Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick revealed a plan to change the name of the city to Grosse Pointe West in order to attract upscale residents and businesses.

"The Motor City is bleeding, and we need to stem the tide," said the mayor.

The city’s budget is currently deeply in the red and despite "valiant efforts" by city officials to "cook the books," financial considerations will force deep cuts in city services and thousands of layoffs in the current fiscal year.

Many local business owners believe this is a good first step towards erasing the stigma that is associated with living in and doing business in the city.

The city’s nicknames of Motown and The Motor City will remain intact, but Eight Mile Road, the dividing line between the city and it’s northern suburbs, will be renamed Kilpatrick Boulevard.

A.) Whoa! Does Eminem know about this?
B.) Please don’t tell me they’re going to close the strip clubs!
C.) Grosse Pointe a nice ring to it.


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