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March 21, 2006

They’re having sex with groupies!
Rock Star Sex Video News

The Kid Rock/Scott Stapp sex video will not be released until further notice.

Postproduction computer ‘enhancements’ of Stapp’s wiener have been halted as his stand-in cock, Ron Jeremy, is home in bed with the flu.

A.) Flu? Yeah--a floozie.
B.) Ron Jeremy references? Dude, drink more coffee.
C.) Hi, it's Ron Jeremy. I really do have the flu, sorry.


Too Many Comebacks Killing Us:
Roxette Guilty of Bloody Murder!

Swedish pop twosome Roxette will be back in studio cutting new songs according to singer/guitarist Per Gessle.

The band, famous for the hit (Musty, insert the stupid band’s one hit here. Do it now before you forget), the band went on extended hiatus after singer Marie Fredriksson was diagnosed with a tumour on her brain in 2002.

Thank L Ron she’s okay now and Roxette is ready to pop, rap, rock or do whatever the hell they do.

Roxette is the most successful Swedish band since Abba.

A.) Whew, Sweden certainly is a hotbed of talent.
B.) Yes. and you are a dancing queen.
C.) Roxette should write a song for Snakes on a Plane.


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