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March 14, 2006

New Movie is Proof Positive

Hollywood is remaking little screener Dallas as a big screener with John Travolta as the conniving J.R. Ewing and Jennifer Lopez as his conniving wife, Sue Ellen.

A.) Earth is doomed.
B.) We’re all going to die.
C.) First the war in Iraq—now this.


Short Skirt & Fishnet Stockings!
It’s how we always picture her...always

The only Manson that matters--extremely hot chick singer Shirley Manson--is cutting demos to get ready for her first solo album. The extremely hot chick singer isn’t leaving Garbage—they’re on hiatus—and she’s footloose and fancy-free as far as a release date.

The extremely hot chick singer told Billboard magazine, "I just want to live my life a little freely and not adhere to any schedule -- just make music and have fun."

Hey, that’s how I want to live my life. Screw that adhering to schedule stuff.

Music and fun sounds fun. Maybe we could have lunch, a bottle of wine, some toot, and talk about it.

I think--no, I know--I can help your career.

Garbage, shmarbage—I’ll make you bigger than Madonna.

Write down your phone num…oh, fuck, it’s my wife! Quick, act like you’re a fan of the blog.

A.) Charlie Manson is her dad. How cool is that?
B.) What a coincidence—I’m listening to Helter Skelter on acid.
C.) Whoa, I’m tripping too, and on my way to slaughter a family.


I just looked up photos of that Shirley Manson chick and you are RIGHT ON!, bro. She's one gorgeous babe. Slutty looking with just the right amount of smart girl mixed in.

I can dig it.

Her dad is a funny cat, too.
You know, it wasn't that long ago that J-Lo was considered the sexiest woman alive. People... Maxim...Stuff...Smooth...King...Reader's Digest...UsWeekly...she got props from just about everybody.

And it's about time she got the dramatic vehicle that she so richly deserves to spotlight her acting chops and impeccable ass. Did I say impeccable? On second thought her ass is entirely peccable. Lickable. Smoochable. Rubmyfacealloveritable.

Get used to it and learn to speak Spanish.

Caliente! Gracias, puta!
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