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March 22, 2006


'Seances are Rubbish'
says John Lennon at seance

A TV seance to celebrate the 25th anniversary of John Lennon’s death was taped last December in England for an In Demand showing in the U.S. on April 24.

For ten bucks you’ll be able to watch mediums contact the spirit of the late Beatle.

A fortune teller gave us a choice Lennon bon mot from the upcoming show.

"Please tell Paul to take my name off of that gay Yesterday song. I had nothin' to do with it, mate. And tell him playing the bass left-handed is gay also."

Wow, how do fortune tellers know these things?

Lennon’s widow, Yoko Ono, is thumbs down on the production.

But if you play the flip side, producer Paul Sharratt barks, "People say this is disgusting and I accept that criticism, but we're making a serious attempt to do something that many, many millions of people around the world think is possible."

Sure thing, pal.

The late great PT Barnum said it best: There’s a sucker born every minute.

A.) John says he misses chocolate milk shakes most.
B.) John says he jams with Jimi Hendrix nightly.
C.) John says he feels gypped that he was murdered.


marty sherman reminisces
about last week’s rock & roll hall of fame induction dinner in new york...

You are one lucky bastard to have scored tickets to that party, man.

I was supposed to go but the passes I bought on the internet said the dinner was in Cleveland.

I wondered why there weren't more celebrities on the plane.

I did see Drew Carey in first class, though. He was using his hands eating away on this big fancy first-class lobster dinner not unlike Darryl Hannah did in Splash, when the stewardess politely asked me to return to my aisle seat by the toilet.

Whatever you say, baby. Whatever you say.

I thought they told that dude to lose some weight. If they didn't, they should have.

Anyway, it wasn't a total loss as I made a trip to the Pier or the Shore or whatever they call it and took in a show at Larry Flynt's Hustler Club. I met the cutest, youngest looking black stripper with hands so tiny they made my shlong look as big as Harry Reems' rod.

She did me a solid in the VIP and it only cost me a buck-fifty.

Then it was on to Buffalo Wild Wings for dinner and some boombas of icy cold Canadian Pilsner from right across the lake. It's funny, but as I was leaving I saw Drew Carey sitting with a table full of beautiful babes and another fat guy who was apparently competing with Drew in a wing eating contest.

The chicks were cheering as the chicken was disappearing...hey, that rhymes.

The Flats...I think they call that part of town the Flats.


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