marty sherman on sportsMARCH MADNESS TEMPORARY?
Clinical Study Isolating Madness Gene in Lab Rats Suggests Possible Link to Alzheimer’s
Researchers at Southern Methodist University found evidence in a study involving laboratory animals that a significant number of test mice developed symptoms of anxiety and confusion after being forced to watch the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament.
"These symptoms are consistent with the early stages of Alzheimer’s in human subjects," says Dr. Audrey P. Oliver
, lead researcher in the study. In addition to anxiety and confusion, many of the mice became dependent on nicotine and alcohol, with fifty percent preferring Miller Lite
and the rest opting for Bud Light
Meanwhile, half of the Elite Eight were set last night in a flurry of games which saw LSU impale top-seeded Duke 62-54 while no. 2 seed Texas corn-holed West Virginia 74-71 in the Atlanta Regional. In the Oakland bracket, the UCLA Bruins cold-cocked perennial tournament favorite Gonzaga 73-71 and Memphis anally-raped Bradley 80-64.
Upcoming match-ups to round out the Elite Eight include 11th seed and tournament Cinderella George Mason
, who’s already pounded Michigan State and rear-ended pre-tournament favorite North Carolina, versus Wichita State. Other games pit U Conn against Washington, Villanova versus Boston College and Florida against Georgetown.
The finals of what is now being referred to by some as "the Tournament that Never Ends" are set for April 1 in Indianapolis.
A.) I picked Gonzaga to win it all dag nab it.
B.) Wasn’t George Mason the guy who chopped down the cherry tree?
C.) Hand over the remote and pass me a Bud Light.