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March 27, 2006

 

lady bomb dotcom special
Snakes on a Plane Mondays
We’re so excited about the August 18 release of Snakes on a Plane with Samuel L. Jackson that we’re going to run SOAP specials every Monday until the film hits the screens. The buzz on this flick is tremendous--critics are saying the movie will do for snakes what Showgirls did for strippers.

And we admit it: we dig strippers.

Because we’re too busy greasing palms and pimping chicks, we depend on the experts at Snakes on a Blog to entertain us with the latest in SOAPy news. We urge you to visit them often.

This week’s SOAP special is a piece of dialogue from Sam Jackson. In this scene, he’s apparently sick and tired of all of the bullshit going down on the flight he’s on and let’s everyone know it.

Action...

“That’s it--I’ve had it with these motherfuckin’ snakes on this motherfuckin’ plane......Everybody strap in, I’m about to open a fuckin’ window.”

...and cut.

Whew.

This movie has Academy Award stamped all over it.

A.) You're not lying; it's gonna be awesome.
B.) I hate flying and I hate snakes. I'm going to pass.
C.) I still don't understand what this movie is about.



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a lap dance from scarlett
HOTTEST CHICK OF ALL TIME!
hotter than a pentium chip

Super smoking hot chick Scarlett Johansson is number 1 on FHM magazine's 100 Sexiest Women in the World reader poll.

"One of the best things for a woman to hear is that she is sexy," the 21-year-old super smoking hot chick said. "I'd like to thank FHM's readers for the huge compliment."


Jeanine Garofalo is No. 2 on the list, followed by Star Jones, Bea Arthur, Clay Aiken, Kathy Griffin, Tonya Harding, and Richard Simmons.

Johansson ranked ninth in last year’s hoohah.

A.) Yes, Bea Arthur is a MILF.
B.) Tonya Harding can sharpen my skate anytime.
C.) I dated Richard Simmons; he’s very high maintenance.



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'Snakes on a Plane' Star to Narrate
Hot penguin-on-penguin XXX action!

You’ve seen March of the Penguins, the Oscar winning ‘best doc’ that follows penguins on their poignant journey to breed in Antarctica. Morgan Freeman narrated the touching tale.

Now get ready for Farce of the Penguins, a spoof written and directed by funny bastard, Bob Saget. The comedy’s tagline is ‘What happens in Antarctica stays in Antarctica,’ and Thinkfilm, the film’s production company, says the plot will follow "one penguin's search for love while on a 70-mile trek with his libidinous buddies on their way to a hedonistic mating ritual.”

If they're talking penguins in lingerie, we are so there.

And just getting onboard, our favorite…Samuel L. Jackson as the narrator.

A.) Remember "The Penguin" in Batman? Me, too.
B.) "Penguins on a Plane." Looking for writers?
C.) Samuel L. Jackson is one hell of a motherfuckin' actor.




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28 frikkin’ songs!
New Red Hot Chili Peppers

The Red Hot Chili Peppers new Warner Bros. double disc set Stadium Arcadium is in stores May 9, 2006. Produced by Rick Rubin, it should be the shizznit or whatever you kids say.

The first single Dani California…out there on April 3

A.) I can’t wait.
B.) I could care less.
C.) Will feature this music at my next zombie rave.



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