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March 13, 2006

Hates California, it’s cold and damp:
The Lady is a Tramp!

Get your shortwave radio out of storage. Prostitutes in Salvador are launching their own radio station. Besides penis, vagina, and other dirty, filthy sex talk, the ladies of the night on FM station WHOR will play music and take phone calls from excited men.

A.) Hope they play some Bare Naked Ladies.
B.) Yes, and some John Lee Hooker
C.) What does FM stand for?

Penis May Still Be Sore...
Bond Star Surgery Scare!

One of our favorite actors, Sean Connery, is back home in Scotland with his ball & chain, Micheline, resting and recuperating after having a tumor removed from his kidney.

"I was opened in five places, including a tube up my dick." Connery said after selling the tumor on eBay for $7,028.

A.) How did previous genrations live without eBay?
B.) Whoa, that's a great price for a celebrity tumor.
C.) Connery won an Oscar in '87 for The Untouchables.

Spotlight on the Dead!

The dude that coined the term gonzo has died at 68.

Writer Bill Cardoso came up with it to describe the journalism of the late, great Hunter S Thompson.

Cardoso checked out from a heart attack after a long bout with throat cancer.

A.) Rest in peace, man.
B.) No one escapes the grim reaper, man.
C.) Afuckingmen.
B.) You always say that, man.
C.) It’s my death tag, man.

“And your mother wears army boots”
Rock Star versus Rock Star!

Rock fans know there’s no love lost between Slash and Axl Rose. They’ve been fighting about Guns‘N Roses copyrights, music, chicks, and dough through two centuries now.

Axl probably said something crappy about Slash’s band Velvet Revolver because Scott Weiland (ex-Stone Temple Pilot, current Velvets singer) just tore Axl a new butthole on the Revolver’s website.

Scott called Axl a "fat, Botox-faced, wig-wearin' fuck.”

So there.

A.) He stuck his tongue out at him.
B.) He said to stay off his property.
C.) He told his ma what he said.

Cosmic Version of Jake LaMotta?
Yanni: Tough Guy Update!

Friends of new age musician Yanni have shaved off half their moustaches to protest the arrest of the artist for allegedly beating his woman last week.

A.) Free Yanni.
B.) Is Fabio a part of the protest?
C.) I jut bought a Yanni moustache hair on eBay for $10.

Hey, I wish I had a piece of that kidney tumor auction action! I think it's really underpriced. Hell, Roger Moore got 40,000 for some of his toenail fungus. So a real piece of Sean Connery has got to be worth much, much more!
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