Lady Bomb Escorts

you know you want it…

March 17, 2006

 
happy saint patrick's day.

everyone at the bomb is slightly wasted already. i had to send musty home. if a guy wants to paint his junk green, okay. but keep it in the pants, for christ's sake.

green bush is another story. on paper, it sounds stupid. in person, irina looks damn fine with her jeans unbuttoned and pulled down just so...


life is a strange and funny trip.

if you're drinkin jittersauce, be careful out there. Between the cops and random misadventure you could find yourself in a world of hurt.

happy saint patrick's day.

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No one cares…
Tommy Lee Forms New 'Reality' Band
Who gives a fuck?

Tommy Lee and dudes from Metallica (Jason Newsted) and Guns N' Roses (Gilby Clarke) will put together a new band and look for a lead singer on the reality show Rock Star.

Last season the show featured surviving members of INXS looking for someone to replace Michael Hutchence, the hanging masturbator.

Carmen Elektra’s husband Dave Navarro and hottie Brooke Burke return as show hosts.

A.) Dave won't be with the Chili Peppers @ Lollapalooza this year.
B.) Dave has cool tats.
C.) Did the new INXS guy kill himself yet?

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A Britney/Federline Sex Tape?
I'D RATHER BE BLIND!
Hard to believe anyone wants to see that

We won’t find out if there’s a pay day till May, but Britney Spears is suing People magazine for $20 million because they printed a fake story saying there was a tape of Britney and the Federline screwing.

I think I'm going to fucking puke.

A.) Britney should take a tip from Lorena Bobbitt.
B.) Federline is the Fonzie of his generation.
C.) Brit & Kev are the new Lucy & Ricky.

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pass me a green beer.
our britney spears special continues…


Bust Your Conk!
..................with Marty Sherman

That Britney Spears was too hot when she was like, fifteen or something.

She seems to me to be more like the high school cheerleader who gets pregnant then blows up like a whale than she does a pop star.

Just like that sweet bitch Marsha that I lusted after at good ole Addison High (go Trojans!) way back in the '70's...she broke my heart at the 10 year reunion when she showed up looking like a female Jimmy Kimmel and shit, talking all the time about her precious offspring...and all I could think about was that fuckin' quarterback who ruined her for life...snmmmfugginbastidzzzzzzzzzz...

Wha?..hmmm...

Ahh, those were the days.

Yep.

I have to tell ya, though, I caught Britney's Toxic video again the other night and before I knew what was happening I was touching myself, finishing off and eating a sandwich. Did you know that "toxic" derives from the Greek word for "arrow"?

It seems the Greeks used to dip their arrows in poison before shooting whoever it was that they shot with them.

Bet that fat cow Britney doesn't know that. And her stupid ex-husband chick ruiner what's-his-name doesn't, either.

Just watch some Jeopardy and maybe you'll learn something, asshole. Yeah, you.

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artlyzak@ladybombescorts.com


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