Dead Man's Curve! Don’t know how Pete Doherty’s battles with anti-drug factions are going , but we do know the Babyshambles singer was seen with pals at the Middlesborough Casket factory where he purchased a handsome, 19th century black shiny coffin.
After affixing it atop a Mini Cooper, Pete climbed inside the death container and snorted drugs, injected drugs, smoked drugs, and wondered aloud 'why, why, why did Kate leave me alone in this cold, cruel world' while his mates cheered him on with pints of Guinness.
Finally sated by his drug taking, he pulled out a pencil and pad and wrote a song about how shitty life is.
A.) Babyshambles? Great. Doherty? Genius. B.) Who is this guy? He sounds like a chump. C.) Why, he’s the Boy George of his generation.
Things Go Better With Coke! It could have been fun, but Boy George cut a deal and will do no jail time for the nosegay found in his Manhattan apartment. George summoned fuzz early one morn to report a robbery. Except there was no robbery…just a higher-than-a-kite George.
And sitting next to his computer--a healthy pile of toot waiting for a nose.
Because he’s a celebrity, instead of jail, our Boy will rehab in England then come back to New York for five days of community service.
A.) “Nosegay” & “Toot” are slang for cocaine, right? B.) Ha, he’s still a karma chameleon, ha. C.) He’s the Pete Dougherty of his generation
New Soylent Green! Tomorrow is a big day for cheap fuckers and chicken lovers everywhere. Between 11AM and 7PM, fast food joint Arby’s is giving away free chicken strips--or nuggets, or fingers, or whatever they’re called—to celebrate their new “all natural” chicken products.
“All natural” means there may have been lips and claws and god knows what in the chicken before.
Keep an eye out for the Lady Bomb van. Musty will visit every Arby’s in Michigan—184 in all—to take advantage of the freebie.
He claims what he doesn’t eat Thursday, he will freeze to thaw, microwave, and enjoy at a later date.
It’s his idea of sticking it to the man.
A.) He’s sticking him good. Right on, Musty. B.) Can I have a hamburger instead? C.) I had their roast beef sandwich yesterday. You could still see the marks where the jockey hit it.
Save me some chicken, man… firstname.lastname@example.org