Lady Bomb Escorts

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March 20, 2006

Cool to the Thrill of it All!
Both Brians Do the Strandsky...

Roxy Music are in the studio making their first album together since 1982’s Avalon, and this time it’s the original band with Bryan Ferry, Andy MacKay, Phil Manzanera, Paul Thompson and Brian Eno—that’s right, Eno.

The last time Eno worked with the group was in 1973.

No release date yet on the Rhett Davies/Chris Thomas production but our guess, good as any, is fall of this year. To promote what should turn out to be a killer disc, Roxy Music will tour the world and rake in millions of well-deserved bucks.

A.) Thank god for this reunion.
B.) Though I'm an athiest, I agree with letter A.
C.) Eno backwards is 'one.' Makes you think.


Hail Hail Rock ‘n’ Roll!!!!!
Horrible Limp Bizkit Splits!
Maybe there is a god…

Misplaced the guy’s name—Wes Berman, something like that—but the guitarist of Limp Bizkit says the band has broken up. This is great news for music lovers, bad news for suckers that listen to dreck.

The one time we tried to listen to Bizkit, it was one of the most awful goddamn experiences we've ever had.

Worse than the time we accidentally sat in the front row of a Bachelor Bob concert.

Oh, man--my goose bumps got goose bumps.

Anyway, good riddance to Limp Bizkit—the kids of America deserve much better than these noise-making chumps.

A.) Bite me, pal. Fred Durst rules.
B.) Yes, he rules my balls.
A.) Hey, fuck you, pal. I'll kick your ass.
C.) Okay, okay, no fighting in the blog...shake hands, both of you.
A.) Alright. No use fighting over Limp Bizkit, I guess.
B.) Of course, you're right. Let's get a beer.
C.) That's more like it. Then let's smoke crack.


Lennon, Bono, Durst, You!

New scary movie with Samuel L. Jackson, Snakes on a Plane, slithers onto silver screens this August, and New Line Cinema and Tag World are partnering for a contest. Write a song appropriate to the film and it may get picked up for the flick.

We haven’t read the fine print yet, but money, shmoney--we don’t care—we’ve already written the winning song. We're going to be famous.

The set up: You know in There’s Something About Mary when Jonathan Richman is singing? Well, we picture the same shtick except with Lou Reed.

Like if Lou plays himself and is also on the plane.

Musty, sit down at the piano, let's play the prize-winning song.

Theme from Snakes on a Plane
(Lyzako-Musty Scribblins-Tokugawa Marinski)

My flight took off, and I was glad,
I don’t like flying but so far it wasn’t bad
I looked at my wife as she sat to my right
There was a boa around her neck wrapped tight

Snakes on a plane, snakes on a plane,
My wife is choking and she’s going insane
Her new white blazer is all blood stained
Must be snakes on a plane

The guy behind me started to scream
It was snake-related if you ask me
I looked at the guy, he was turning blue
Instead of one boa he was fighting two

Snakes on a plane, snakes on a plane,
The dude is choking and he’s going insane
His white dress shirt is all blood stained
Must be snakes on a plane

The pilot came on the radio
Said ‘stay calm’ then screamed ‘oh, no!’
Sounded like the guy was in a lot of pain
Must be snakes on a plane

Snakes on a plane, snakes on a plane
Everybody’s screaming and going insane,
Our flight’s gonna crash, we know who to blame
The goddamn snakes on a plane.

(repeat all three choruses)

A.) Catchy with hooks galore, bravo!
B.) Hollywood just called—you lost, loser.
C.) What is Snakes on a Plane about?



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