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March 21, 2006

CNN anchors cry like frightened children
“Fire! Fire! Fire! Fire!”
Stay tuned for more blazing action right here, right now:

Fire briefly broke out at CNN headquarters in Atlanta this afternoon; no one, thank god, was hurt.

The fire apparently started shortly after lunch as veteran on-air talent convened in an unused office to smoke crack cocaine, a daily ritual. Unbeknownst to them, a new meteorologist—scoring drugs for the first time--mistakenly copped heroin instead.

As the group began to puff the junk, one by one they nodded out, until the meteorologist dropped the sizzling hot pipe atop a USA Today. Three inch high flames reached heavenward before being snuffed out by the size 12 foot of sports reporter, Sal Penningten.

An intern ran to the lobby to replace the newspaper.

A.) Close call. See how heroin can kill you?
B.) Injecting crack into the arm is safer.
C.) Remember: Only you can prevent crack pipe fires.


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