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March 15, 2006

 

...oh, the strain of the creative process................................................
Radiohead Frontman Going Insane!

Here’s Thom Yorke on the band's website, admitting that sessions for the band’s next long player—its seventh, due this summer--are driving him nuts:

I've been tearing my hair out. Feels like we been trapped for a long time in la la land. Furiously writing, working out parts. Cracking up. Not much time left. Unsure about everything. I'm not supposed to put any of this here, so that's why I am.

A.) Whoa, sounds like 'blowetry.'
B.) Ten bucks says the album will be their best.
C.) Radiohead is the fucking tits. Is that still a hip saying?

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ROCK & STAPP SEX VIDEO UPDATE!
Two Thumbs Up! One There & One There...

Hey, thanks to Diamond Member Massive at the Velvet Rope dot com. He reports with tongue in cheek that the title of the unreleased Kid Rock/Scott Stapp sex video has been changed from Making Godless Whores Pay to the much, much catchier Some Chicks Will Fuck Anybody.

A.) Ha, dude’s funny, ha.
B.) Just bought the Aunt Bea/Barney Fife sex tape on eBay.
C.) What a coincidence, I’m watching the Bea/Fife video and getting a blow job.

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Braaaaaaaawk, Braaaaaaaawk, Nevermore!
Spotlight on the Dead!

Robert C. Baker loved chicken. In fact, chicken to Baker is like lobster to Lyzako.

The professor of food science and poultry science at Cornell University is the man responsible for chicken hot dogs, ground chicken, and everyone’s favorite, chicken nuggets.

It's all grease under the bridge now, Professor Baker is dead--he was 84.

A.) His name was Baker, but his fellow profs called him Deepfriar.
B.) What a coincidence, I’m eating chicken from a dumpster behind the KFC.
C.) My chicken has the flu--so I gave it NyQuil.

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The Federline Report:
THE GUY IS A DOUCHEBAG, RIGHT?

So-called singer Britney Spears is putting her husband Kevin Federline on a tight weekly allowance. Apparently, the guy is out of control with the wife’s money, which some say is the root of all evil.

While the Federline will still get a thick weekly roll to peel for necessities ( booze, drugs, lap dances, clothes, cheap jewelry for strippers, lap dances, et cetera ), he’s going to have to shmooze Brit into making his big ticket purchases ( fancy cars, expensive trips, expensive jewelry for strippers, producing snuff films, and lap dances with happy endings, et cetera ).

A.) You're just jealous, bitch, 'cause you ain't no playa.
B.) Letter A is right--you a bitch and a pussy.
C.) Hey, Ill just have a bit of that et cetera, thanks.


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artlyzak@ladybombescorts.com

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CoMMents:
That Britney Spears was too hot when she was like, fifteen or something. She seems to me to be more like the high school cheerleader who gets pregnant then blows up like a whale than she does a pop star. Just like that sweet bitch Marsha that I lusted after at good ole Addison High (go Trojans!) way back in the '70's...she broke my heart at the 10 year reunion when she showed up looking like a female Jimmy Kimmel and shit, talking all the time about her precious offspring...and all I could think about was that fuckin' quarterback who ruined her for life...snmmmfugginbastidzzzzzzzzzz...
wha?..hmmm...

Ahh, those were the days. Yep.

I have to tell ya, though, I caught Britney's "Toxic" video again the other night and before I knew what was happening I was touching myself, finishing off and eating a sandwich. Did you know that "toxic" derives from the Greek word for "arrow". It seems the Greeks used to dip their arrows in poison before shooting whoever it was that they shot with them.

Bet that fat cow Britney doesn't know that. And her stupid ex-husband chick ruiner what's-his-name doesn't, either.

Just watch some Jeopardy and maybe you'll learn something, asshole. Yeah, you.
 
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