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March 16, 2006

Are we not kids?

One of rock’s wackier and innovative bands from thirty years ago is back, kind of, and they’re wackier and more innovative than ever. DEVO and Disney have partnered to release DEVO 2.0, a combination CD/DVD of the band's greatest hits and videos rerecorded by little kids, aged 10-13. It’s in stores now.

In addition to the new recordings of their biggest hits--Whip It, Freedom of Choice, et cetera—the videos feature neon dinosaurs, pandas in sombreros, and anthropomorphic potatoes.

There’s also a photo gallery and interviews with the original band. The new kiddy version—Nicole, Jackie, Nathan, Michael and Kane--will also tour sporting classic DEVOwear including the always smart “energy domes.”

New Devo stops in Saginaw, Michigan at the Saginaw Arts & Sciences Academy on Tuesday, April 4.

A.) Precious. Music is wonderful. A kid version, ha.
B.) Darling. I loved DEVO, now my kids will, too. What a life.
C.) Stupid. What next? G.G. Allin Jr. sticking a pacifier up his ass?


He banged that Scarlett Johanson chick...
Man, Monster, Lucky Bastard!

Oscar-winner Benicio Del Toro will play the hairy, scary wolfman in the big screen remake of, uh…The Wolf Man. Like the original flick starring Lon Chaney Jr., it will be set in Olde England.

The film comes out in 2008--mark your calendar now.

A.) That reminds me, I’ve got to shave.
B.) They should remake Pee Wee’s Big Adventure with Benicio as Pee Wee.
C.) Whew...Scarlett Johanson. Be still, my penis.


Love’s Gone Bad!
Thankfully, we never listen to his music...

Phil Collins and his wife of six years, Thawarka, are splitting. They say it’s in the best interest of their two young kids, Hans and Sankaya.

Collins will continue living in Switzerland where the rat bastard will most likely date girls young enough to be his daughter--no, his granddaughter--because he’s a big shot rock star.

A.) Phil should pull strings & get Hans and Sankaya into the new DEVO.
B.) Phil will probably bang Scarlet Johanson, the son of a bitch.
C.) Whew, Scarlet Johanson...


Headline too graphic?
Fuck that Shit!

The FCC has put broadcasters on notice that they could face fines if the word “shit” is uttered on its airwaves.

Remember: Shit is now on the “Bad List” along with fuck, so be careful.

A.) That’s a shitty fucking thing to do.
B.) Aha! I knew you were going to say that. You're so obvious
A.) Fuck you, shithead.
B.) What?! I’m going to beat the fucking shit out of you, asshole.
C.) Hi, I’m Nicole from the new DEVO. Please don’t swear, thank you.


Happy Fucking Birthday!

How cute is that? The Sun-Maid girl, star of dried raisin boxes everywhere, is 90-years-old, and like Aunt Jemima, she will get a digital makeover.

A.) I hate fucking raisins. They taste like shit.
B.) Aha! I'm from the FCC; you're under arrest!
A.) You have no jurisdiction, this is a blog.
B.) Oops, you're right. Fuck...oops!
C.) Hi, we're Hans and Sankaya Collins and we love raisins.

Huh? Is Scarlet Johanson in the Wolfman movie? Did I miss something or do you need a full time editor, wise-ass?

I guess it doesn't matter because she's so hot that the mere mention of her name has me conjuring up all sorts of filthy things to do to her. I've been in love with her ever since she was in the "Horse Whisperer" as the one-legged girl.

And I always thought Del Toro WAS a Wolfman. They prefer to be called Werewolves, by the way.
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